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I believe in God
I like to pretend that I am a race car driver on the freeway.
I pick my nose
I eat things with Olestra in them
I want my everyday life to break out into a musical
I belong to a cult consisting of over-50 drunks and potheads and a few ugly chicks that smoke pipes.
I like looking at boobies
I had a threesome for my first sexual experience
I am a computer program
I would download a car if I could
I find it difficult to take life to seriously as I view the human race as a microscopic organism on a Universal scale ...
I like bullfighting
I feel like a superhero when I take aspirin because I can wash dishes with the hot water turned to max
I wonder why anyone is taking Sarah Palin seriously as potential VP
I bought this computer because it was pink
I stand up to pee after I take a dump because I cannot push out all my urine while sitting down
I have pretend conversations with myself
I adore bacon
I transfer any bible from the bedside table to the trash bin when I enter my hotel room for the first time
I eat poopy
I always use a condom
I would stop thrusting mid-coitus if I suddenly found out the woman I was fucking was republican
I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.
I want to tie women up.
I think anyone voting for McCain/Palin is fucking retarded
I step in front of bikes to see terror in the cyclist's faces.
I touch myself at night
I spent a day watching an entire season of a TV show
I argue with fat kids, just to see if I can make their face turn red
I think I am weird. Other people do too.


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